The Butterfly Effect

A butterfly drawn by Nabokov in a book given to Vera.  - Courtesy of Christies

A butterfly drawn by Nabokov in a book given to Vera. – Courtesy of Christies

For those poems that you write to me,
measure each word each space, each
sentence they carry, as they pierce
my heart and then live inside like seeds
that become wild flowers and rare trees
and outgrow a forest that I find
myself lost in.

For those songs that you listen in loop,
which I admire like a moon, measure
resonance of each note, kiss of each
instrument, as they just not debauch
your heart but reign chaos here as well,
as thousand butterflies blooming the view
I inhale in.

For those breaths that you take while
thinking of me, measure each one in,
and each sigh that is leaving…
Since, they here return to me as a
dark sky down-pouring all of wishes
that I have yet not forgotten how to
invest myself in.

For those laughs that you have again,
remembering my stupidities, my naivety,
measure their echo, and count tears
that follow… with each drop you
shed my soul floods, and echo raises
the ripples, they keep me distant from
a deep sleeping.

For those dreams in which you find me
unhelpingly, measure your will along
every difficulty, for each step of yours
in direction opposite takes you farther,
but new web weaves here tightening
threads on me, shrinking unwanted reality
I am wrapped in.

Since you can’t leave those habits of yours,
then why not count one more in?


Let us close the book, so that we can meet. What point of book, if we can't be our dream?

Let us fold the book now, so that we can meet.
What point of book, if we can’t be the dream?

– Dedicated to the lover that won’t stop loving, yet won’t be with the beloved. Also dedicated to one of my favorite authors: Vladimir Nabokov (Who was born on 22nd April).

Art work/ Image credits:
1. A butterfly drawn by Nabokov in a book given to Vera. Source: Russia Beyond the Headlines
2. A Book Sculpture by Su Blackwell.

9 thoughts on “The Butterfly Effect

  1. I started reading your poem and it’s magical effect wrapped me inside….Beautiful. Very ‘shaeeraana’ as they call it 🙂 Love, love the words, the effect and the magic.

    • It started pretty bleak and unusual,
      and it was crawling like a caterpillar.
      But then as the time mounted up,
      so did the state of our connection.
      I had no idea when it had me engulfed,
      and it was too late by then when I
      found myself already in the chrysalis,
      wrapped by the shroud sewn in silk
      and ember. Much to my surprise
      it had the signature of me written
      all over. I certainly not had the foggiest
      that at seed of its inception, I weaved
      the dream, that eventually became a
      framework. And what I considered once
      a knit too dry, later emerged itself as
      a monarch butterfly. I gather that’s
      what happens in the engagement of love.

      Thank you Lala, for your timely feedback, and words that leave inspired. 🙂

  2. OH GOD THIS IS JUST BEAUTIFUL. and HEARTBREAKING at the same time. The way you conveyed very deep feelings and complex emotions in a very simple way shows that you are a genius. Reading your poem makes me feel like I am reading a poem of a very fine brilliant poet. I can relate this to my situation. Some things are just like that. You love a person with all your heart but you just can’t be with that person. Sad life. And this author omg I have to read his work. That’s what I will do right after my exams. 🙂

    • Thank you Miss Rida, for your usual more than generous comments and detailed review that I always look forward to. You see that love indeed is like a habit of survival like quite any other… should you not leave them then why leave loving? “Love”- love for all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul. Because if one can’t do that, one would never know what it feels like to gain the moments of pure bliss – the total happiness. And without them one’s unable to contrast the moments of sadness. There are certainly no peaks without the valleys… And without both of them life is a perpetual plain without any ups and downs, and even machine can auto-pilot that. So what good is life then? Would we even refer it as a life anymore? 🙂

  3. I don’t think I can ever mentally get over how beautiful this is. It’s honestly so great. I loved everything, from the poems to the songs to the breaths to the tears to everything. I read each stanza and I thought, “wow this can’t get any better”, and then I’d read the next stanza and it proved me wrong. You’re a superb writer and I hope I haven’t failed to mention that up to this point. This is your best post BY FAR. Keep writing amazingly 🙂

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