If I was in abstinence (Main hosh mein tha to)


– Performed by king of ghazals: Mehdi Hassan sb, for whom absolute perfection in singing became effortless…


How come I died of beloved’s stupor,
if I was observing abstinence?
How did my veins acquire a toxin,
off such – poisonous substance?

There must have been traces of
fume in hands of beloved as well…
How else did one came to rub
and leave me empty of fragrance…?

Must have been here, an intervention
of my beloved’s guidance…
How else I returned to my own doorstep,
when I had lost awareness…?

An eons passed, mere in attempts,
to eradicate whose remembrance…
How even in my lost senses, I passed
through that door for a reference?

– Dedicated to those abstinent, who remain in stupor at mere recall of how wine once felt…

main hosh mein tha to phir us pe mar gaya kaise
yeh zeher mere lahoo mein utar gaya kaise

kuch us ke dil mein lagawat zaroor thi warna
woh mera haath daba ke guzar gaya kaise

zaroor us ki tawajoh ki rehbari ho gi
nashe mein tha to main apne hi ghar gaya kaise

jise bhulaye kai saal ho gaye ‘Kamil
main aaj us ki gali se guzar gaya kaise…

– Original poem by: Kamil Chandpuri (according to few sources, this often gets miss-attributed to Daagh Dehlvi)

Urdu version:

میں ہوش میں تھا تو پھر اس پہ مر گیا کیسے
یہ زہر میرے لہو میں اتر گیا کیسے

کچھ اس کے دل میں لگاوٹ ضرور تھی ورنہ
وہ میرا ہاتھ دبا کر گزر گیا کیسے

ضرور اس کی توجہ کے رہبری ہو گی
نشے میں تھا تو میں اپنے ہی گھر گیا کیسے

جسے بھلائے کئی سال ہو گئے کامل
میں آج اس کی گلی سے گزر گیا کیسے​

# ? کامل –

Note: Author of this ghazal is still not confirmed. If someone has an insight with reference, it would be great. 🙂

Update (March 11, 2016):
Author of poem is confirmed as “Kamil Chandpuri”, by Mr. Tanveer Kamil (son of the author).


I found…

This poem is a sequel to the poem: Lately…


“What I needed most was really a lightness to swim, the day I earned my wings.”

I found, for every being,
who loves the rivers and sea
or the oceans for their storage
of fragments of history,
dives deep in, to recover the debris,
sometimes ends up becoming it.

I found, for every being,
who loves the ruins, ancient structures,
and the abandoned places,
in search of a treasure we all seek,
digs deep in, to recover a peace,
sometimes ends up succumbing to it.

I found, for every being,
who loves to fly in a dream,
weaving flying carpet of fantasy
that breaches walls and boundaries,
falls deep, if no attempts are made
such that reality turns in.

I found, for every being,
who loves to lend a visit to galleries,
or to listen rhythm of a thundering,
gives a lot in, to acquire the wings,
forgetting, one takes home back
more than one ever brings.

I found, for every being,
who loves interacting with seasons,
be it an autumn, be it a spring,
keeps longing, to re-create, what
no longer exists, till day, one self
turns  into an object of yearning.

Similarly, I found, for every being,
how love is still a necessity,
like an air for human to breath on,
blood for a vampire to quench on…
flesh for a beast to feed on…

That no matter what,
even when one’s not oblivious
of fantasy within, of all the consequences,
one would not stop,
till demise is reached,
of all hope lurking still somewhere in shadows,
or of the lover seeking a resolution.

In one way or another, it would go on,
till sun of yearning, and moon of longing,
keep drowning, yet to rise again
from bed of ocean.


“Quite like that I found myself there, way I found myself in you… Deeply embedded.”

– Dedicated to discoveries one stumbles upon, in the journey of love…

Image credits:
1. An underwater sculpture by artist Jason deCaires Taylor, entitled ‘Resurrection’.
2. Sculpture discovered from an Ancient Egyptian city named Heracleion or Thonis.