If I was in abstinence (Main hosh mein tha to)

– Performed by king of ghazals: Mehdi Hassan sb, for whom absolute perfection in singing became effortless…


How come I died of beloved’s stupor,
if I was observing abstinence?
How did my veins acquire a toxin,
off such – poisonous substance?

There must have been traces of
fume in hands of beloved as well…
How else did one came to rub
and leave me empty of fragrance…?

Must have been here, an intervention
of my beloved’s guidance…
How else I returned to my own doorstep,
when I had lost awareness…?

An eons passed, mere in attempts,
to eradicate whose remembrance…
How even in my lost senses, I passed
through that door for a reference?

– Dedicated to those abstinent, who remain in stupor at mere recall of how wine once felt…

main hosh mein tha to phir us pe mar gaya kaise
yeh zeher mere lahoo mein utar gaya kaise

kuch us ke dil mein lagawat zaroor thi warna
woh mera haath daba ke guzar gaya kaise

zaroor us ki tawajoh ki rehbari ho gi
nashe mein tha to main apne hi ghar gaya kaise

jise bhulaye kai saal ho gaye ‘Kamil
main aaj us ki gali se guzar gaya kaise…

– Original poem by: Kamil Chandpuri (according to few sources, this often gets miss-attributed to Daagh Dehlvi)

Urdu version:

میں ہوش میں تھا تو پھر اس پہ مر گیا کیسے
یہ زہر میرے لہو میں اتر گیا کیسے

کچھ اس کے دل میں لگاوٹ ضرور تھی ورنہ
وہ میرا ہاتھ دبا کر گزر گیا کیسے

ضرور اس کی توجہ کے رہبری ہو گی
نشے میں تھا تو میں اپنے ہی گھر گیا کیسے

جسے بھلائے کئی سال ہو گئے کامل
میں آج اس کی گلی سے گزر گیا کیسے​

# ? کامل –

Note: Author of this ghazal is still not confirmed. If someone has an insight with reference, it would be great. 🙂

Update (March 11, 2016):
Author of poem is confirmed as “Kamil Chandpuri”, by Mr. Tanveer Kamil (son of the author).

6 thoughts on “If I was in abstinence (Main hosh mein tha to)

    • Thank you Tanveer for confirmation. 🙂 I hope I have done justice with your father’s original… Certainly there’s no match and there can never ever be. May his soul rest in peace.

  1. Thank you dear Ali for the translation . even without much knowledge of the meaning, i cant stop crying listening to this immortal song….

  2. Ma hosh ma tha poet nam is Hazrat Muhammad shah kamil .who belonged from Trranda muhammad panah . he has wrote many sufi kalams . i m one of his follower

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