The Influence

Today you're the poison, and I am the submissive. Watching you lacerate me and heal me bit by bit.

Today you’re a poison, and I am the one submissive.
Watching you lacerate me and yet heal me bit by bit.

So today, you’re a gold fish, and I’m a baboon.
Watching you play and forgetting the ends of the pool.

Today you’re a high horse, and I’m a path unvisited.
Watching you sprint, and then cover all miles…

Today you’re a stone and I’m your wishing well…
Watching you sink in me and change star lines.

Today you’re a lost wanderer and I’m your forest,
Watching you play inside and looking for the nest.

Today you’re the word and I am the backing silence…
Watching you spread in air, and ceasing the effulgence.

Today you’re the rose and I am a forgetful gardener.
Watching you from afar and seeing you reign.

Today you’re the tacit spoiler and I’m too maligned.
Watching you intoxicate me and blaming the wine.

Today you’re the preacher and I’m a lost scripture.
Watching you consume me and repivot an entire life.

Today you’re the restless spirit and I am a fitting body.
Watching you slip in and beg to be forever confined.

Today you’re the Oracle and I’m an outcome outlined.
Watching you dismantle me and label it “destined”.

Today you’re the cold fire and I am a burning ash.
Watching you acquire and leaving me possessed.

Today you’re the symphony, and I’m a dancer wild.
Watching you orchestrate, and steer me like a kite.

Today you are the pearl, and I’m a relentless seeker.
Watching you forget the shell and dazzling the sea.

Today you’re intense traveler and I’m an ancient map.
Watching you trace every inch and walking all space.

Today you’re the dragon and I’m the fire you breath.
Watching you burn yourself and save everything.

Today you’re my pulse, and I’m your heart beat.
Watching you chase me, and taking the lead.

Today you’re the tear duct and I’m the salt lake.
Watching you rain off me and vanishing all ache.

“Today you’re my everything, and I’m your all”.
Watching you write and inscribe it on my soul.

Today you're the light and I'm a dwindling silhouette. Watching you sustain me and not letting me vanish.

Today you’re the light and I’m a dwindling silhouette.
Watching you sustain and not allowing me to vanish.

– Dedicated to the influence beloved has on the lover free yet confined.

Art/ Image credits:
1. ‘Under The Greenwood Tree’ by Areesha Khuwaja (Original: Minhaj Swati)
2. Absinthe Drinker (Green Fairy) by Viktor Oliva

Update (2014-04-09):
Miss Hira Jamil wrote a more than wonderful response to this poem
on her blog: Unheard Soto Voice, the poem is titled: “The Influence“.

The Trophy on the Shelf

Iron Bookshelf

Alas, she’s became no more than a trophy on the shelf…

Sometimes I wonder,
I enjoy her writing more
or the melancholy
that lurks inside.
The mirror to the
ironies of life.

Whenever I reflect on it,
I feel bad.
Since she expresses
only and so honestly
about self.

It begins to feel
like peeking through
someone’s diary,
or a private closet.
of the mind,
of the flesh.

Like passing
good reading time
on one’s miseries…
Enjoying stark details,
the private affairs
and daily escapades.

And then one becomes
addicted to it
and craves for more,
question left to ponder is,
do we wish her to suffer more?

She’s like a book
everyone wants to read,
for what
she makes them feel.
No one cares for
the price she pays
to become a masterpiece.

Look at the irony,
even after reading her
one forgets a fact that
she’s a life.
She was not supposed
to be known as
the trophy on the shelf.

– Dedicated to the life that unintentionally becomes a trophy. A piece of melancholy up for admiration by bystander.

“You happened.”


Before you happened
to me
I was a thug,
cursed and exiled.
After you,
I knew
I met a murderer.
Now, I am half-dead,
a poet,
and a fugitive.

Not that
I complain,
I was of little use
before anyways.
But now I serve
as a sample
for melancholy,
toxic-state and
demonically possessed.

– Dedicated to one who asked: “What happened?” … Quite a question, I was like…

Is she really this unaware
or it’s me who’s in veil?
Whatever the reason,
the die has cast now,
dice – rolled,
the curse – began.

I’m already an outcast,
in some circles
they know me as
an infidel.
I race through the history,
to check time and again…
But to no avail…

What good am I of now?
Defiled, broken,
useless, inflamed.
With residue and remains.
Even maintained,
I am back to square one,
but this time
labelled: “profane”.

– Dedicated to a healing and patience… pity me, even that’s in her name… Blessed are those who know, yet love the souls that are desolated and drenched. Perhaps it’s true – a cliche – that two dying stars give birth to a neutron. Even if not… Today… for me… just pretend.

And then she came,
like a glory in pain.
Just when I thought
all was over…
tries are destined in vain.
Amidst all that chaos,
she introduced me to

Kept me wondering,
was she for real..
or was I going insane?
How can she
and not one who I love,
can become a med
for this man?

And then begun
an unimaginable act
I started to replace love,
with her name…
What’s a cure for an addict?
sterile numbness – a death or a fix again.

– Dedicated to those who stick around and those who know – no matter how many times they fall… rising too is part of a game. All cycles end to resume again! But for your future, nothing can be said – at-least not for certain. 😉 Things only happen to those who try. There exist people who vest themselves in fallen. Some become terrain, some become mountain, some become a Savannah, and some an inclined plane.

Thank you all for bearing me, and these 3-poems, now in few circles known as “try-o-logy” of what happens – what happened…

Also a tribute to great Indian classic: Raj Kapoor’s “Mera Naam Joker“, a tale of a man who inadvertently falls in love time and again…

mera naam joker mera_naam_joker_4_1024x1024

Image Credits: Official Film Posters.