Incorrigible. Over demanding. Rude. Brutal. Insensitive. Robotic… Overthinking over analyzing schmuck. Overplaying my hand at every round and turn…
This is all I become… No. This is all I remain… When you are not here.
Because everyone can talk to me. But not everyone can make me listen… Sure many can touch me, but not everyone can move a soul beneath. There are surely many who can hold but not so many who can contain me… Many can walk along, but not those who can align with me. Many can give me shelter but not one who can become a sanctuary… There are many to whom I am visible, but not many who can find me…
It’s you, who can do that. It’s you – without whom then I feel incomplete… Because I never was complete.
Sung mesmerizingly by classical singer Javed Bashir. Yet another wonderful composition by Pritam.
Lyrics along Translation:
<Start of monologue> Ishq woh bala hai Jisko chhuaa isne woh jala hai Dil se hota hai shuru Par kambakht sar pe chadha hai Kabhi khud se, kabhi khuda se Kabhi zamaane se lada hai Itna hua badnaam phir bhi Har zubaan pe adda hai <End of monologue>
Love is such a curse, whoever it touched, it left them in no shape… From heart though it begins… yet it’s the soul that it reigns. Against itself, sometimes, often against the world and constellations it stands. Has lost each inch of its fame, yet on everyone’s mouth it still remains.
Ishq ki.. saazishein Ishq ki.. baaziyaan Haara main khel ke Do dilon ka Juwa
Love’s wicked schemes… Love’s implausible bets…!! Lost I did in this game… Heart more than one, in a wager of attachment.
Kyun tunay meri fursat ki Kyun dil mein itni harqat ki Ishq mein itni barqat ki Ye tune kya kiya…?
Why you turned me into a pursuer? Why turn my heart into a chaotic front…? Swells this devotion – now too much… What have you done here?
Phiru ab maara maara main Chaand se bichhda taara main Dil se itna kyun haara main Ye tune kya kiya..
Wanderer I am now, roaming everywhere, Like a moon I am without star at its back. My heart seems to no longer have a place… What have you done here?
Saari duniya se jeet ke main aaya hoon idhar Tere aage hi main haara kiya tune kya asar
It’s the whole world that I won from, before even coming here. Why is it in front of you only I feel still I am no where near.
Main dil ka raaz kehta hoon Ke jab jab saansein leta hoon Tera hi naam leta hoon Ye tune kya kiya
Let me bare my heart to you… With each breath I sail through… It your name only that I arrive to… What have you done here?
Meri baahon ko teri saanson ki jo Aadatein lagi hain waisi Jee leta hoon ab main thoda aur
These breaths of yours that my embrace has grown accustomed to… It’s only soaked in them I tend to live a little more…
Meri dil ki ret pe Aankhon ki jo pade parchhai teri Pee leta hoon tab main thoda aur
These scorching sands of my heart only when they receive the shades in sight of you… I get a chance to drink some more…
Jaane kaun hai tu meri Main naa jaanu ye magar Jahaan jaaun main karoon main wahaan Tera hi zikar
Know I… not this even a little who or what are you to me… Yet, how’s it, I mention you only, no matter where I supposed to be…
Mujhe tu raazi lagti hai Jeeti hui baazi lagti hai Tabiyat taazi lagti hai Ye tune kya kiya
You look accustomed to me, A move to win assuringly… Look how I feel splendidly… What have you done here?
Main dil ka raaz kehta hoon Ke jab jab saansein leta hoon Tera hi naam leta hoon Ye tune kya kiya
Let me bare my heart to you… With each breath I sail through… It your name only that I arrive to… What have you done here?
Dil karta hai, teri baatein sunu Saude main adhoore chunu Muft ka hua ye faayda
All my heart desires is I keep listening to you.. Commit to plans without break-through… What a luck in bargain I struck?
Kyun khud ko main barbaad karoon Fanaa hoke tujhse miloon Ishq ka ajab hai qaayda
For what I lead myself belly up without ado… Be in a shambles, to come across you… With what book of love did I stuck?
Teri raahon se jo guzri hain meri dagar Main aage badh gaya hoon thoda hoke be-fikar.
Since my paths seem to cross yours now at a junction… Progressed I too have a little without a caution…
Kaho toh, kis se marzi loon Kaho toh, kis ko arzi doon Hansta ab thoda farzi hoon Ye tune kya kiya
Tell from whom shall I get a permit through? Tell to whom should I surrender to? All my fake smiles now show a clue… What have you done here?
Main dil ka raaz kehta hoon Ke jab jab saansein leta hoon Tera hi naam leta hoon Ye tune kya kiya
Let me bare my heart to you… With each breath I sail through… It your name only that I arrive to… What have you done here?
Ishq ki.. saazishein Ishq ki.. baaziyaan Haara main khel ke Do dilon ka Juwa
Love’s wicked schemes… Love’s implausible bets… Lost I did in this game… Heart more than one, in a wager of attachment.
— Original lyrics by Rajat Arora. – Dedicated to love unrequited.
My love, I see… the moon as big as the mole on your skin… simmering above the ocean tonight. My eyes are to engulf it, quite like my lips once did caressing with all their might. It tastes like a pulp of a melon, as I licked it from top to bottom… savoring both sweet and the salty at the same time. And there, so did my eyes when they opened again, confessing same with the water, fresh from the sea I drowned in. So, I sit here in wonder, this is how it is perhaps, the true bond of love, since that too happens only, once in a blue moon… once in a life-time…?
Without you, I am a bird without the wings… I drank from fifty wells, yet I remain unsatiated. I flied to a hundred places, yet I remain untraveled. I am touched by hundreds, yet I remain unaffected. I witnessed hundreds of miracles, yet I remain unshaken. I learnt thousands of words, yet I remain among the unlearned. I uttered thousands of words, but I remain unheard and stifled. I met thousands of people, yet I remained unseen, hidden. I watched thousands of stars titillating, yet I remain unstirred. I get to rest hundreds of nights, but I remain exhausted. I get planted with thousands of seeds, yet I remain barren. I feel gusts of springs, the winds from heaven, yet I remain unmoved, unyielding. I swing among the rainbows, yet I remain colorless, unblemished. I host dozens of people, yet I remain uninhibited. I drink thousands of meads, yet I remain sober and not drunken… I slept with no matter how many, yet I remain a virgin.
I am never 100%… There’s not enough of me… I am what’s left of me – a word half, sentence unfinished.
A response poem to an effervescent poem of Miss Maha Madad Ali (young poetess, I miraculously crossed the paths with)…
Have you ever thought why I love the beach, it’s not just to be Sun kissed… It’s to be at the altar of the beloved you know you cannot unite with… It’s to bathe in its love but at a distance. For I am a moth, who would get consumed way before its thirst is quenched. Akin to Icarus, who would end up burning his wings for a flight endearing… wondering, how close is close — before it’s closing. My demise would become an example of over-passing, rather an example of devotion I fell for someone to pursue the love like a Phoenix, who would rise from the ashes… Did you ever taste the ocean my dear, Sun does not hide behind the waves, my sweat and tears have filled the valleys…
Have you ever considered, how it’s indeed better sometimes to be washed away than to linger on like a vivid fantasy that can never be a reality? Why would it be important to exist, yet as nothing but a caricature of your past being? To live but being dead with-in, because you were always someone’s “maybe and perhaps” never the “only”…? Those names written on the sands of the shore, were perhaps meant to be forgotten, quite like the promises of “forever” once happened between the moon and the ocean, before tides came in between. Those castles too were not for living but to be abandoned, better losing themselves into the arms of time as each pendulum swung, at least waves managed to taste a portion of dreams.
Has it ever occurred to you, why I tend to collect the sea shells? For they remind me of possibility that in spite of all the pull of the universe not for once happened, For a dream of destiny that’s no more now than a shell of its former self merely… There’s no pearl here, anymore… No necklace you see… But when did lovers pursue the dream for such entities? You were all the glimmer that I needed. I was all the ornament you ever cared to wear… Yet washed up we are on the shore, like those who tried to create perhaps too hard a bottled magic, failing to understand miracles happen when and where we submit, When objects in universe give themselves away without knowing what’s coming forth for thee…
Did you ever ask an Ocean if it’s really tiring for it to try and touch what’s beyond its reach? In spite of infinity that it holds with-in she starves for that one connection that would still make it feel unleashed. That ocean, which remains there where it’s but invites me to come at her door time and again to leave the footprints… for it to swallow as in it’s compensating for what could perhaps never be… For Ocean and I are the lovers, who cannot become one even if we tried… No matter how sunk I am in her love, I cannot exist in her world, and she cannot overcome mine without submerging me…
So, my love, these kisses and hugs you see, those washed-up pebbles and shells I sweep, those names and sand-castles I surrender, and those foot-prints I set free… Are all nothing but an excuses… the ways we tease each other and get away with it for perhaps there’s no future together for the worlds apart beyond this…
– Dedicated to the love and perceptions.
Original piece by Miss Maha Madad Ali… “Have you ever!?” — What a scintillating read.
– Art: “Life after you” (2023) — by Poonam Choudhary
Poem:
Mujh ko tumhare baad phir acha lage to kya lage? Koi khwaab, waada, iraada, sacha lage to kya lage? Mene tuj sang parkha Qaus-e-Qazah ko, Rang charhay koi muj par, gehra lage to kya lage?
Kar di buland mene ghar ki har deewaar… Yaad na aaye teri baaz, pehra lage to kya lage?
Har din dekha tujay utartay jese shaam. Tuj sang bitayi saanj sapna lage to kya lage…?
Aata hai roz mahtaab ik sur-khuru-e-khaab… Har chehra na chehra tera sa lage to kya lage…?
Tuj sang lamhay beetanay ko rahay qalb betaab… Dekh dharkhanon ki parwaz, thehra lage to kya lage?
Jo paas ho kar bhi na do qadam saath de… Woh saya mujay ab mera lage to kya lage?
Karlay jo shamil har dua mei tujay apne saath… Woh shakhs bhi Sohani gar apna na lage to kya lage…?
Koi mausam mohabbat ka zara thehre to khil jaun, Koi rasta ahl-e-wafa ka mod se guzre to khil jaun. Mera sehra se hai rishta baarish se buhat purana, Ik buund aa barsay veeran mei mere to khil jaun.
Mehboob ki jholi mei smaanay ko phuul buhat. Samait kr kabahein, banale sehray to khil jaun.
Uus nagar wastay buhat peeron aur faqeeron ke. Zara shidat se dua mei jaa giray to khil jaun.
Raqeebo ne kia daryaft raaz muskurahat ka… Koi parh le ik ainay k kayi chehre to khil jaun.
Ulfat ka hasil Ishq, Mohabbat ka bandagi hai. Hata de, aankhon par pade pehre to khil jaun.
Ishq kare khudai ko ruswa to kesi jeet Sohani? Haar par aashiqi ka parcham lehre to khil jaun.
Urdu Transliteration:
کوئی موسم محبت کا آنگن میں ٹھہرے تو کھل جاؤں . کوئی رستہ اہل وفا کا موڑ سے ہی گزرے تو کھل جاؤں . میرا صحرا سے ہے رشتہ بارش سے بہت پرانا… کوئی اک بند ہی آ برسے ویران میں میرے تو کھل جاؤں .
محبوب کی جھولی میں سمانے کو پھول ہیں بہت . سمیٹ کر کباحئین میری گر بنادے سہرے تو کھل جاؤں .
اُس نگر میں واسطے ہیں بہت پیروں اور فقیروں كے . کوئی شدت سے ذرا دعا میں جا گرے تو کھل جاؤں .
رقیبوں نے کیا دریافت راز میری مسکراہٹ کا… کوئی پڑھ لے اک آئینے کے ہیں سو چہرے تو کھل جاؤں .
اِس الفت کا حاصل عشق اور محبت کا بندگی ہے . تو ہٹا دے ، ان آنكھوں پر پڑے پہرے تو کھل جاؤں .
عشق گر کرے خدائی کو رسواء تو کیسی جیت سوحانی ؟ میری ہار پر عاشقی کا پرچم لہررے تو کھل جاؤں .
— Dedicated to the beloved.
Credits: Base phrase of the poem: “Koi Mausam Mohabbat ka aangan main thehre” was provided by Madam Sarah Awan.
Serenades of a dreamer... 